What Is My Fear Really About?

Start With Your Own Worry

"I'm scared of flying" can mean several things. You might trust the plane, yet dread the moment the doors close. Or feel comfortable in the cabin until your heart starts racing.

Research with fearful flyers has found worries about the flight itself, bodily feelings and other people's reactions. More than one can matter to you. You don't have to fit neatly into a box.

The Trigger and the Prediction

A trigger is what starts the alarm: a bump, a sound, a memory or a feeling in your body.

The prediction is what your mind expects next. That is often the part worth exploring.

For example, the door closing might bring the thought: "If I panic, I won't cope because I can't leave." Learning about cabin doors may answer one question. Learning how to respond to panic addresses the other.

Try Three Short Lines

Think of one recent anxious moment. Write:

1. What I noticed: "The engine sound changed."
2. What I expected: "I thought something was wrong."
3. What I did next: "I watched the crew and kept asking whether everything was okay."

Keep it brief. You are looking for a pattern, rather than inspecting every feeling. Once you have an example, put the notes down.

Choose the Help That Fits

• Worried about the plane? Read the explanation of that sound or movement.
• Worried about your body? Learn about physical anxiety symptoms and save the panic plan.
• Worried about being unable to leave? Read about feeling trapped.
• Worried about being noticed? Read what if other people notice.
• Looking for complete certainty? Try living with some uncertainty.

The anxiety profile can help you find a starting point too. It is a guide, rather than a diagnosis.

A Kinder Starting Point

You don't need a perfect explanation for your fear. One clear example is enough to begin. If several worries overlap, a therapist can help you work through them together.

Sources

• Wilhelm & Roth (1997), Clinical characteristics of flight phobia — concerns about external, internal and social threats: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9220299/
• Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI), When Panic Attacks, Module 2 — triggers, interpretations and responses: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Panic
• NIMH, Panic Disorder: What You Need to Know — fear of sensations, avoidance and assessment: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/panic-disorder-when-fear-overwhelms